


How to turn attractive men into sex gods

by The_Lady_of_the_Lion



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akuma Attack, Confident Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Damian Wayne Feels, F/M, Misunderstandings, Original Akuma, POV Damian Wayne, POV Marinette Dupain-Cheng, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:22:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lady_of_the_Lion/pseuds/The_Lady_of_the_Lion
Summary: Damian is used to fangirls. And while he had hoped his vacation to Paris would be different, the two whispering girls are proving it will be just like back home.Except back home they know better than to approach him.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Damian Wayne
Comments: 56
Kudos: 554





	1. Damian: first encounters

“Guuurl! Just go talk to him!”  
Those words were enough to fill him with dread. A classic FanGirl line to try and pump each other up to approach him. _So much for a peaceful vacation._ Damian scowls and hopes it scares them off. Gotham girls (and boys) have long since learned not to get close to the Wayne Heir. He hopes these Parisian floosies will take a hint.

“But _Alyaaaa!_ I can’t just walk up to him! You know what it was like with Adrien. Now imagine me talking to someone like that!!”

”Trust me on this gurl! You won’t regret it!” The Alya girl he thinks replies. And this must have been the final push she needed cause her friend marches right up to him with a determined look in her ~~striking~~ blue eyes.

”Hello! I was wondering..”

”No.” Damian hopes she leaves him alone after this. “I will not go on a date with you, you can not have my number, I would not like coffee, and I will not be changing my mind.” He looks up over her shoulder, past her ~~midnight~~ blue hair, at her friend Alya. “For either of you. And if I find this video online you will be speaking to my lawyers.” Alya was holding one hand over her mouth while the other held the phone in her hand steady. Shoulders shaking in an attempt to not sob making the feat mildly impressive. 

He returned his gaze to the ~~petit~~ girl infront of him and is surprised at the mirth(?) Amusement(?) ~~Sparkle~~ in her eyes.   
“Actually I was going to ask if I could fix your shirt” Damian actually takes a step back at that. _Fix his shirt? What’s wrong with his shirt?_

”What?” His confusion must be clear because her friend finally explodes (into laughter, not sobs) and points to his side. He looks down and finds the seams along the edge has come loose and his side was exposed.

The small girl smiles ~~softly~~ at him and holds up a small pack. “I always carry supplies. It won’t take very long Monsieur.” 

“That is truly all you want. To fix my shirt?” His incredulous expression just further amuses her.

“If it was about what I wanted, the shirt would burn instead. Such a shade is just Atrocious for your skin tone. Not to mention it does nothing for your eyes.” She seemed to mutter to herself about colours and skin tones as she stepped forward, and started to fix the shirt. Her ~~gentle~~ ~~careful~~ Hands were steady and sure. The shirt fixed in under a minute.

As she steps back, her ~~blinding~~ ~~Gorgeous~~ smile greets him.   
“You don’t like my shirt?” His stupid traitorous mouth blurts out before he can stop it.

“It is not a bad shirt, Monsieur. But I have many others that would look much better on you.”

”Ok”

”Ok?” She seems confused. Her head tilts ~~cutely~~ to the side as her bluebell eyes start to drown him.

”Let me sees these shirts. Or were you just out to insult my sense of fashion?”

Her eyes light up and she holds out her hand. He doesn’t know why he takes it. Maybe it’s cause she doesn’t seem to know him. Maybe it’s because she didn’t try to touch him at all, even when stitching his shirt. ~~Maybe it’s because he wants to hold her hand.~~ He is dragged half way across Paris to a little bakery, through the back and up the stairs to a very pink room.

Before he gets a chance to look around, about 5 shirts are shoved in his arms and he is pointed to the bathroom. Staring at him through the mirror is a slightly flushed teenager with a verity of different shirts and a small smile on his face. He turns and looks at each shirt and is mildly surprised at the quality. He tries them one and steps out for her approval. Each shirt she stalks around him before nodding I approval.

“So you just happened to have shirts in my size?”

”Yes, I was experimenting with a new style for a men’s line.”

”You mean to tell me you made these?”

”Of course! You can find my brand right there” She points her ~~delicate~~ finger at some minute detailing going down the arm.

”I’m impressed. How much do you want for them.”

Her response surprises him. Everything about her surprises him, “Ah! I couldn’t make you pay, after all, these were just prototypes. If you want something just for you, I’d be happy to hear your ideas. Maybe for coffee or ice-cream? How does that sound Monsieur...”

 _She doesn’t know his name._ The thought is so strange, so uncommon, that he can’t help but ask “You don’t recognize me?”

”Am I supposed to? I don’t think we have ever met before.”

”I’m Damian.” A test, no reaction. He doesn’t notice when he started staring but he can hardly take his eye off her “Damian Wayne.” Her smile ~~is sunshine~~ grows but no comprehension crosses her ~~dazzling~~ face.

“Nice to meet you Damian, I’m Marinette Dupain-Chang”

“I don’t suppose you would know where we might find some of that ice-cream miss Marinette” this time he’s the one to offer the hand.

”I know the perfect spot!” 

~~~~~~~Bonus~~~~~~~~~

  
“Demon spawn!” Drake practically screeches when he finally opens his eyes long enough to see him. “Where did you get that shirt!”

”What is wrong with his shirt? I thought it looked very nice on him” Greyson, ever the mediator cuts in.

”That’s an MDC original! I have been trying to get my hands on one for months!”

”Really? A... Friend gave it to me”

“DEMON SPAWN HAS A FRIEND!?!”


	2. Ice cream with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all like this!??  
> What the heck???  
> This story hasn’t gone at all like I planned, but I can’t say that I’m disappointed  
> Anyways, enjoy!!

The moment she grabbed his hand, Damian knew there was no denying anything.

He likes this girl.

He _really_ likes this girl. From her gentle fingertips to her soft smiles and everything in between and more. _My brothers can never find out about her._

The thought of his idiotic brothers chasing off ya amar...

Damian tightens his grip on Marinette’s hand for a second. She seems to notice because her smile brightens and they turn another corner.  
  


“He should be around here somewhere! All the clues are pointing to the Arc du Triomphe!”

What kind of business makes their costumers go hunting for them? How is that at all a sound business strategy?

”There he is!” Marinette’s smile could dim all the stars in comparison.   
  
“An ice cream man? It took us 40 minutes to find an ice cream man?”

”Not just any ice cream man! André Glacier, the Sweetheart ice cream man!” Her smile directed at him made her eyes shine like jewels and his heart to beat a tic too fast. Before he could pull himself from her gaze, a jovial voice interrupts. Damian doesn’t know if he is thankful or irritated that her attention has been stollen away.

“Ah Marinetta! What lovely flavours you inspire! And the handsome young man next to you is no vanilla cone. I have just the flavours for two birds like you!

Raspberry sorbet to bring Luck and Change, with Dark Chocolate sorbet for the Balance and Passion you you share with a golden string of Caramel Sauce to tie two hearts together!”  
  


_Luck and change? Balance and passion you share? What does that even mean?_

Marinette grabs the cone and pays the _pitiful_ amount. Smiles at the cryptic ice cream man before pulling Damian away. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to speak! Let alone try to pay.

Their destination appears to be a bench nearby, as Marinette stops pulling him once they reach it.

”That’s strange, usually he gives out regular ice cream” Marinette turns the cone this way and that before looking at Damian.

”What do you mean by regular? And what was with that whole,” Damian vaguely waves their still conjoined hands in the direction of the cart, “Ice cream riddles thing?”

”It’s sorbet this time. And you get used to him. His predictions are part of the draw!”

”Predictions?”

”Yeah, he can ‘see into your heart and pick flavours that compliment your true love’” The change in her lovely voice had him smiling at just how much she believed in _that_ myth.

”Is it not usually sorbet? I myself don’t normally get ice cream, and usually get sorbet when forced into getting ice cream, either for ‘sibling bonding time’ as Greyson calls it, or by Jon my best friend”

Marinette tried a scoop and closed her eyes with a hum. As she opened them, she motioned with the cone for him to have a taste. “That would explain it! He always seems to know what works for people. Are you lactose-intolerant?”

The sorbet was surprisingly good, a little bitter, a little sour, with a nice sweet undertone from the caramel. Damian lets out an equal hum before answering “I’m vegan actually. Have been since I was 11”

”That’s amazing! Why’d you switch? Not that there’s has to be a reason for you to switch or that you have to tell me! You don’t have to tell me anything!” Marinette grabs a big scoop of their ice cream as soon as she’s done rambling and shoves it in her mouth. The chuckle that escapes him is a surprise, but the resulting hues on her fair cheek bones more than makes up for the slip.

”I adopted a cow”

”A cow?”

”yes, that’s what I said”

”How... no no, why did you adopt a cow?”

”She looked very sad at the slaughter house”

”Does she have a name?”

His cheeks flush slightly as he remembers the childish name he gave her “Yes”

Marinette nudges his side with her elbow “Weeell? What’s her name?” Her teasing tone was just as angelic as the rest of her.

With a deep sigh Damian looks into the star filled gems and with his straightest face says “Bat-cow”

”Bat-cow? Why Bat-cow?” The giggles that escape her cause his lips to twitch up ever so slightly.

“She has a bat shaped mark on her forehead. I was 11.” He try’s to look stern, but his upturned lips would not cooperate. Marinette’s giggles intensify when she sees his face. The bells in his head from the sound are worth any embarrassing story, he decided.  
  
He never wants ya amar to stop.

Bonus

”Damian?”

”Yes?”

”I think the ice cream melted”

”What?”

Marinette points at the sticky mess that is their joined hands holding the sorbet.

”Oh..”


	3. Depresso reliazations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akuma alert! Well, it was bound to happen sometime  
> Also, Marinette shows up for a bit before Damian decided he wanted the story back, you know like the jerk he is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The writing muse has visited me again!!! Here is your newest chapter

There was two days left in their week long vacation. So just like all of Damian’s luck so far, this is where everything went to shit.

In His defence, no one told him there was a magical terrorist running around turning people’s bad days into super-weapons.

He also might have forgotten that Paris wasn’t Gotham. In Gotham, people see him as the son of Bruce Wayne, the multibillionaire. In Gotham, people remember the time he broke that one guy’s arm for bumping into him, or that one girls wrist for touching him, or that reporter’s nose... he’s getting off topic.

 _In Gotham_ when Damian Wayne pushes to the front of the line, no one says anything or even gets too upset. He has places to be and people to see, and enough money to buy the entire shop so buying everyone he just cut’s order and leaving enough for a tip is never an issue. 

But this isn’t Gotham.  
In Paris, people might know his name, but they can’t recognize him on sight.  
In Paris, people don’t know to fear him.  
_In Paris_ , it’s not Damian that they fear. It’s Hawkmoth and his Akuma.  
So when Damian pushes his way to the front of the line like every other time he has in his life, he hears people start to grumble and complain before one voice seems to cut through the rest with a startling clarity.

“Yes, Hawkmoth.”

It is only thanks to his years of training and a lucky tug from Marinette that he wasn’t hit by whatever that beam of light just was. When he turns to see who he’s fighting against, a skinny tall dude with skin tight spandex, eye bags deeper than Drake’s, and a giant coffee bean on his head was not what he was expecting. And then he started to monologue.

“I am Depresso! All I wanted was the nector of the gods to help me through this hellish week! I haven’t slept in days! All you morning people make me sick! If I can’t have energy, neither can you!” And then he shot a beam of some sort out of the glowing red circle on his chest at some fleeing civilians. The beam didn’t vaporize them like he was expecting. Instead, they seemed to wilt and pathetically flop down onto the ground.  
He turned back to Damian with a wicked grin “You are the one who denied me. Prepare to be roasted!”

“What the hell is going on!?!” Damian is pulled along after ~~his angel~~ Marinette, away from whatever that is. God he hopes his brothers never hear of this.

“What do you mean? You clearly pissed someone off before I got there. I wasn’t even gone from the counter for five minutes and you manage to get someone Akumatized. Seriously Damian, you should have known better.”

“What?” Damian glares back the way they came, it’s eerily silent now. “What the hell is an akuma?”

Marinette’s sudden stop cause him to crash into her. They almost go tumbling, but Marinette is surprisingly strong for someone so petite.  
“How do you not know what an Akuma is? Everyone in Paris knows what it is.”

“We have been here for five days now and not once has this akuma person showed up”

Marinette yanks him into a small side ally and takes a deep breath.  
“An akuma isn’t a person. Not wait! That’s not true either! Uggghhhh! Why is this so hard! An Akuma is a purple butterfly that possesses an item on anyone who is feeling a negative emotion. Fear, anger, irritation, anything. It turns whoever is feeling that emotion into Hawkmoth’s brainwashed puppet with powers. That possession is called akumatization and that person is also called an Akuma. I hope that’s good enough because he seems to be looking for you and staying in one place _really_ isn’t a good idea.”

She grabs his hand and takes off running. He’s not sure how, but he feels like this is all Todd’s fault.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette was screwed!  
Why couldn’t she let him get hit with that first blast and be done with it. He’d probably be fine. Besides, with her Miraculous Cure she was positive she could bring him back from almost anything!  
_She is ignoring that little part in her thats screaming, ‘that’s not what heroes do’_

Now she has to find a safe place for Damian, find a separate safe place to transform, defeat the Akuma, and come up with a reliable lie for once they meet up again.  
Yup! Totally screwed. And with how fit he seems, the only reason she is leading and not the other way around is because she has home turf advantage. 

Why does she do this to herself?  
“I’m here!” She throws the door to a random little boutique and pulls them inside. “If we hide in the bathrooms, they won’t be able to find us! Akumas don’t really check bathrooms!”

“Marinette! I hardly think now is a good time to be splitting up! Someone has to go back a defeat that... person.” Damian tugs her to a stop before she can escape to the women’s room and to freedom.  
“That’s what Ladybug and Chat Noir are for! Civilians like us really should stay out of the way. Outa sight, outa mind!” He gives her a weird look at the word civilian before slowly nodding. 

“But surely there is a better place where we can hide together. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

This would be really sweet if it wasn’t making it hard to do her hero work.

“I’ll be fine Dami! I have hidden in the bathroom from plenty of Akuma, you don’t have to worry about me. It’s you they are after this time. Staying alone might even keep me safer!”

“If you’re sure...” he does not look sure. He looks like leaving her alone is the last thing he wants to do. So she gives him a big smile and pushes him into the men’s room and ducks into the women’s just as quickly.

“I think he really likes you Marinette! You two seem like a good balance for each other. A Kwami knows!” Tikki giggles.

“We’ll see about balance after we deal with Depresso. Tikki, spots on!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiding in the bathroom has got to be one of the most degrading things he has ever done. Damian Wayne does not hide. But what else is he to do when ~~His angel~~ _Marinette_ is so terrified of whatever is going on right now.

There are so many things he’d like to do right now and none of them are sit here in this bathroom. God, why did his father forbid them all from taking their gear on vacation? ‘There is no need for Robin in Paris’ and ‘Its a peaceful city’ and ‘You all need a break from the suit, that’s why you are going on vacation’  
Yeah, sure _looks_ peaceful to him.  
How incompetent are the heros also? The entire time he was on the run he didn’t see either of them once! And how come the League not know there is a supervillain in Paris of all places? Surely someone had to have called it in? 

Ok maybe he’s a little annoyed because he had **plans** today with a cute little Parisian. He only has two days left, he has to make them all count. He doesn’t even want to think about what will happen when he goes back home. Will they still talk? Will she remember him after he leaves?  
Gah! Where are those damn heroes!

“Damian? Are you still in here? The battle is over now, Ladybug fixed everything!” Marinette’s ~~angelic~~ voice calls.  
He still has so many questions, but first, back to those plans.

Bonus:

“Is it just me or has Demon Spawn been avoiding us this whole trip?”

“Did you expect Baby bat to voluntarily spend time with us?”

“Well, no... but this feels like more than usual.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have zero update schedule!  
> This story is just for fun and whenever the muse hits and possesses me to write.  
> Commenting and demanding a new chapter will only delay the next chapter... if I write one at all


End file.
